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Intercontinental Arse: |
Lyricist, lead vocals, kazoo, unpercussion, flatulence, harmonica |
The spirit of the band. The creative influence at 5:30, literally.
Started off in the band "The Bum Bangers" and left in 97 and formed
"The Arse Bandits" with Impotent. Takes his influence from political and
socially responsible issues. Inspired by drugs, mainly Paracetamol. |
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Impotent Arse: |
Guitar, vocals |
Writes the music. Is responsible for stirring the shit in most of the band.
Main influence is Prince. So much so, he got his two lower ribs removed with the
profits from the first gig, and now no longer needs women. He writes poetry, you know, about "The One"
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Duck Arse: |
Football chanter, vocals |
Has caused recent friction in the band with his refusal of only being a supporting vocalist.
Considering solo career after succes of "Come On The Arse" and his contributions to
"Funky..." Is considering recording his own version of "Walking Down the Main Street"
Has problem with Donut addiction, checked into the Betty Ford clinic, even though he wrote most
of his best songs under the influence. Recently went missing for two weeks after a two-day donut binge.
Was found in his personal toilet. |
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Smart Arse: |
Sarcasm, vocals, cynicism, pessimism, and many other -ism's, technicianism, bum lasher |
He's a bad, bad boyfriend. Bad, I say. By shit he is. His involvement in the band
has neglected his duties with Mumbling. His main contributions are sarcasm, pessimism, and other -ism's,
which as you can see, have greatly helped the band's creativity. Also known for the spot of biblical chanting.
Joined the band for the "Funky..." sessions. |
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Gluttimus Minimus Arse: |
Drummer, fyarter, vocals |
Loves jumping. And smoking. Likes an odd fyart. The main influence for the "Fyart" song. Is the inspiration for
"Muff's on a stalker", as featured in "Funky..." and "Come On the Arse" |
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Short Arse: |
Out of tune vocals, too boring to let on anything else, except management, because he can rob stuff |
History in the band mainly involves robbing our instruments for us, and threatening support groups to be shit.
He's too boring to be complimented. He's got contacts, you know. He's not from Abbeylea, hint, hint. Gone mad.
BIG Ricky Martin fan. Yes, we know, Ricky Martin. Also one of only two people in Western Europe to buy the "Surrender"
single by Roger Taylor (Roger Taylor bouhght the other). No wonder he doesn't have much to do in the band. Can you believe he's in our band? |
