HOT NEWS!!!!
ARSE BANDITS: THE MOVIE is coming!!!!!
Yes, it's true, the movie we've all waited for is on the way at last. It's not yet clear what involvement, if any, the members will have.
This fledgling project has already caused controversy though, as it has been claimed that Intercontinental Arse sold the rights without consultation of other members, particularly Impotent.
The battle rages on......
If there is one thing that this band have done a lot of in their short time in the recording industry, it is attract controversy.
People seemed to have all sorts of strange tales to tell about the band members, and after they got their own chat line set up, more and more people gathered to share their knowledge of the Arse Bandits. Here are just some of the more persistent rumors:
- Duck Arse's addiction is not to donuts, as stated on the official home page. The rumor persists that his actual addiction is to crack cocaine. Rumor has it that duck wanted to be open and honest with his fans over this, but the record company's legal eagles wouldn't let him do this. Having left the Betty Ford Clinic, Duck alledgedly suffered a relapse, which culminate in an OD at a party to celebrate the wrapping of the band's first album.
- Impotent Arse alledgedly starred in a number of explicit home gay pornography videos, which have apparently made their way on to the Internet. This has been confirmed by band manager Short Arse, but no comment has been received from the man(?) himself.
- The hacking, and shutting down of the FBI website a little over two weeks ago is being blamed on Short, Smart and Intercontinental Arses. This rumor is most strenuously denied by the band, though apparently there is some evidence of Short Arse bragging about his intended crime beforehand on a Microsoft chatroom, and also of him visiting the 10 Most Wanted Page soon after. Again, this rumor is vigorously denied by the band, as it could land each of the three with hefty prison terms.
- This one is not so much a rumor, as it has entered common knowledge fairly soon. On the chat line, Impotent Arse was 'outed' as subscribing to mailing services that offer both gay and animal, or bestial, pornography. Impotent's homosexuality was confirmed soon after in a short statement issued by manager Short Arse. Impotent has received many plaudits for not only attempting to raise awareness of Impotence and how to carry on your life with this affliction, but he has also come out as a homosexual at this, the very start of his career. The consensus on the chat line seems to be that he should be applauded for these brave, yet high-risk moves. If you wish to show your support for the stand taken by Impotent Arse, email The Gay and Impotent Union who will pass the messages on to their icon.
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When setting up their MP3 page, Intercontinental Arse mentioned the Bum Bashers as a former band of his, but said that their styles had drifted apart. Unbeknownst to the band, there actually is a band called the Bum Bashers, and to make matters worse, they are levelling claims of plagiarism against the Arse Bandits. This one has yet to be resolved....
- The most pressing rumor that the band heard of recently, though, is the one concerning the death of Smart and Duck Arse. The pair are said to have died when Duck drove the car he was in with Smart and their female escorts off the side of a mountain road. There are some who claim that this is not true, however. There have been repeated sightings of the pair, including one in Vegas two weeks ago, taking some time out for Duck to work on some solo projects. It doesn't seem like this is the case however, as since the rumors of this tragic demise began, there have been no new songs issued on the page, and little to no work has been done on their web page.
- Soon after their reported death, Duck and Smart became the focus of an Internet mailing group, the Smart Duck Group, who are distributing what they claim to be genuine photos of the last few hours of these two talent's lives, which were alledgedly spent at a Dublin nightclub.
